ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
