Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
