Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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