My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
