Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
