I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
