Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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