your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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