I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
