He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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