just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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