What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
