i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
