Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
