So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
