Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
