it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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