yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
