the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
