What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
