is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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