party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
