I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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