Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
