the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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