i would punch a child for taco bell
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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