I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
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Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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