I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
