I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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