hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
