So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
