Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
