She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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