The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think i have herpe
just one?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
