I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
