if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
