READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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