In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She bit a glass in half.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
