yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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