Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
