Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
