By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
