Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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