Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
