A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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