the condom got lost in my hair
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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