are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
