i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
