Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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