with your own penis?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
