Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
