You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
