So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
