was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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