wanna go halves on a baby?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
