Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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