Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I would go down on you faster than GM stock

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(817): View more from Texas

I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

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(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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(516): View more from New York

good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.

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(903): View more from Texas

making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.

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(646): View more from New York

You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.

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