are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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