Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Can I color on your dick again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
