so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You took a bar mat shot.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
