you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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