angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
